Low Down Dirty Tricks
by Sustain
Summary: G1 Inspired by He Who Laughs Last. Something smells in the Decepticon base, because Skywarp insists on playing pranks.
1. Skywarp Started It

Skywarp Started It.

By Soundwave's Idol

I wrote this for a friend who wanted to know what had happened to Soundwave, before, Chapter 2 is the original story.

Soundwave went about his daily activities, until he noticed that it was oddly quiet. Ravage and Laserbeak were within him, and Buzzsaw was out scouting. Rumble and Frenzy had been in his quarters. He instituted his telepathic link to them. The two cassettes assured him of their location, so he went back to his duty.

The next day went the same inharmonious way, only this day started with a fusion blast. Starscream had denounced Megatron's newest plans, thus resulting in Starscream being sent to the repair bay, and Megatron stomping furiously to his office. Thundercracker was at a monitoring station next to Soundwave. All still seemed too quiet; Skywarp was the only one who had not been scheduled any duty at the time. Again Soundwave checked on his cassettes using his telepathy. Naturally they responded all was fine. Something caught his notice, they had not responded from his quarters.

"Computer locate Rumble and Frenzy." He called.

"Rumble and Frenzy located, at section 2, area 2, corridor 1." The computer voice announced.

Soundwave's circuits buzzed. _'What were they doing out side Starscream's quarters?'_ He wondered.

"Computer locate Skywarp." Soundwave commanded.

"Skywarp located. Location Commander Starscream's quarters." The computer answered.

"I bet 'Warp is up to another one of his pranks." Thundercracker added.

Soundwave continued his duties; what ever happened between the seekers was none of his business. He kept an optic on the two cassettes, which never entered the Air Commander's quarters.

Two days later just as Thundercracker had predicted Starscream was slightly injured, by a prank that blew up by accident. Soundwave warned the cassettes to stay away from Skywarp. Normally the seekers had an affixation with harassing the smaller 'cons, but Skywarp had taken an unlikely interest in Rumble and his brother Frenzy.

The odd quiet lasted two more days, and then Thundercracker had an ice-cold bucket of water dumped on him as he entered his quarters. Soundwave had insisted that Rumble and Frenzy clean the water up.

The quietness ensued again. Something had disturbed him from his recharge. Soundwave listened to Rumble and Frenzy argue over energon that Skywarp had given then the previous day.

"Well it didn't taste bad. And you drank it too." Frenzy said.

"Ya well you drank more of it! And stop yelling my head hurts."

"It was your idea to go with Skywarp and get in on his pranks."

It was fun. That one the Screamer broke was the best. I don't remember you telling Skywarp No!" Rumble became defiant.

"I thought that we could keep a better optic in 'im if we were with 'im."

Soundwave lit his optics and sat up. The world seemed to turn inside out, then settled down slightly wavering. He tried to do a system diagnostic, but everything was running in slow motion. Finally his systems started reporting in his visor.

Main fuel source: Tainted. Unknown contaminate, all systems affected.

Source: Ingestion from discharge from cassettes Rumble and Frenzy.

Systems functioning at 25 normal speed.

Malfunction: Unable to isolate contaminate from fuel.

Analysis: Contaminate dilution required.

Estimated time to dilution: complete 120 earth hours.

Soundwave sat on his recharge bed, the situation slowly becoming clear. He was over energized, with a foreign substance that he was unable to expectorate. He would be this way for nearly a week. He stood up weakly, trying to keep his footing.

He staggered in between Rumble and Frenzy to the door. The two cassettes where awe struck. Never in their lives had they seen Soundwave act anything but cool, calm, and composed. Absent-mindedly they followed Soundwave, which walked directly to Megatron's office. The two cassettes listened at the door, hearing nothing. Then suddenly both jumped as the door slid open and Megatron came out.

"Computer. Open a link to Skywarp." Megatron commanded.

"Internal comlink open." The voice responded.

"Skywarp here sir." The jet spoke.

"You are to clean this base from top to bottom. You will have no other duty until it is finished. Is that understood?"

"Yes Megatron." Skywarp's voice had lost its luster.

Megatron manually cut the link at the console, he started to storm back to his office, when he caught a glimpse of the two cassettes. He stopped just short of them. "Do no think that you two are free of this incident. I have not contemplated a proper punishment, _yet_." He growled.

Rumble and Frenzy took their queue and returned to Soundwave's quarters.

Megatron continued to his office, he was pissed. Not only had this little prank affected Soundwave, his friend, but also it had pushed his plans back. He would now have to wait for Soundwave to recover, before the next mission.

Soundwave decided that this would not stop his base from functioning. After meeting with Megatron, his balance had been slightly better. He was now able to walk short distances with out swaying. He sat at the communications console and began to work. Slowly he noticed that what would have taken a few hours, had taken him the better part of the day. He was frustrated. His thought process was a very cloudy mist that he was unable to lift. His usual stark clarity of thought gone. He got up, and slowly walked to his quarters.

The next morning Soundwave's processor had started to clear. His balance was now at 75, though all his motions were still very slow. It was during this time that he started working on a plan. Megatron had insisted Skywarp work, but this time it was not enough. Soundwave had always turned away from the petty pranks of the purple jet, because they had never been focused on him directly. Ravage had recorded Skywarp explaining the whole plan to Thundercracker that the stating whole thing had centered on pulling a prank on Soundwave. Thundercracker warned Skywarp not to mess with Soundwave, but the damage had been done.

Through his daily activities the thought kept creeping in to his slow processor. It would have to be something easy, but that about how far he got before the haze settled and his thoughts were more on concentrating on his tasks.

By the third day his processor had recovered, and his clarity of thought returned. His movements were still not at peak, but had begun to show their fluidity again. He had been keeping an optic on his self-diagnostics, in four-hour increments, as the contamination level dropped below 50. He felt relieved as he began to feel like himself. It was then that he formulated his plan.

Contamination levels had dropped to 35 on day four, but Soundwave was not caring. He was hurting all over and the pain kept him in his quarters. It also made him determined to get back at Skywarp.

Skywarp had finished cleaning and had gone to talk to Thundercracker.

"I don't believe that Soundwave is still affected by that energon."

"You know 'Warp, I wouldn't be so happy if I were you." Thundercracker answered.

"What's he going to do? Send those midgets after me? He already told Megatron, and I just finished that." Skywarp scoffed.

"Just remember, Screamer is used to your jokes. Soundwave is not."

"Speaking of the Air Commander. I got a good one for him!"

The voices faded as Frenzy crept back through the air duct. He reported to Soundwave, who only strengthened his resolve.


	2. Low Down Dirty Tricks

Low Down Dirty Tricks

By Soundwave's Idol

Megatron sat at his desk planning a new strategy for collecting energy, along with the defense against the Autobots. He glanced out the large porthole into the depths of the Pacific Ocean trying to clear his mind. Then the door chime rang, followed by knocking.

Megatron unlocked the door, " What do you want?"

"Sorry, but I really think you need to see this." The jet did not enter just stood in the hallway.

Megatron was a little surprised to see Thundercracker in such a state; of all the seekers he was the most reliable, and most often the sanest. "What is going on?" he demanded.

"Soundwave got back at Skywarp for the Rumble/Frenzy incident. Now Skywarp is well…fuming." Megatron got up from his desk. Thundercracker returned to the scene.

He let out a sigh. Of all his warriors, Soundwave was not only one of the best, but his friend too. He knew Skywarp had it coming, though Soundwave would never admit or show any emotion of vengeance until it was too late. Soundwave's technical and espionage expertise had seen to that. Megatron walked to the door, a faint disgusting odor went through his olfactory receptors.

'_What is that_?' he thought. As he opened the door the pungent smell over took him. He walked out trying not to regurgitate the energon that he had been drinking.

In the command room Starscream held Skywarp by the left hand and his nose in the other, while Thundercracker did the same with opposite hands. Soundwave stood across the room from them looking like nothing at all had happened. A group of on lookers had already begun to form. Megatron acted as if there was no smell.

8888888

A month before, Skywarp had taken Rumble and his brother Frenzy under his wing, though the seekers as a group did not care for the smaller 'Cons, including Reflector. Skywarp humored the two for a week then pulled his trick. He gave the brothers a very slow dissolving, highly concentrated energon, and before it started to work he sent the two back to Soundwave. As the effects began to take a hold the two got tired, Soundwave took and inserted the two cassettes in his chest deck for recharge, then he too shut down to recharge. The next morning Soundwave awoke to Rumble and Frenzy bickering about who had drank what. When Soundwave sat up he felt it.

While the two cassettes had been recharging within Soundwave, they were connected to Soundwave's systems, when the concentrated energon finally dispersed its self the to cassettes where too small to handle it, forcing it in to Soundwave.

For three days Soundwave fought off the effects of a drunken stupor, then for two more days the hang over. Megatron had been livid; his best officer had been downed by a prank. Skywarp had been grounded, and forced to clean the entire base.

Soundwave confided to Megatron insisting something be done about Skywarp's jokes, this was getting out of control. Megatron was unsure about what to do; Skywarp seemed to not care about punishments. That's when Soundwave got an idea, if Skywarp was on the receiving end, maybe he would not think it was so amusing.

Without informing Megatron (something Soundwave had never done before) he decided to get even. He thought of a rather easy scheme. Frenzy went through the air vents then opened the door to Skywarp's quarters for Soundwave from the inside. 'Good' he thought, then sent the cassette on his way.

888888

"**_SILENCE"_** Megatron roared. Everyone stood still. Megatron walked through the room as even more Decepticons entered behind him. As he walked no one spoke, just held their noses. "What happened?"

"He happened!" Skywarp tried to point a finger that was being held by Starscream at Soundwave. " When I came back from the energy raid, I was a little dirty, so I went to my quarters to use the solvent shower. The shower sprayed me completely black, then when I got a call I turned around and it sprayed my back with the white streak, and the smell."

"Soundwave," Megatron walked over to the indigo transformer. " Did you do this?" Megatron already knew he did.

"No." he answered. Megatron looked at him, Soundwave stood unreadable.

"Skywarp, is there any video or any other kind of proof?" Skywarp slumped a little.

"No."

"Any forced entry?" Megatron looked at Soundwave again.

"No, but he can open anything!" Skywarp pleaded.

"Then let this be a lesson to you. Contain your pranks to small worded jokes, and that saying the fleshlings have about 'what goes around comes around' will not happen again." Everyone stood for a minute in silence.

Then Skywarp pulled himself free. "T.C. can I use YOUR solvent shower?" he looked at Thundercracker pleadingly.

"Yeah 'warp, lets go." The two jets left. Just as the door closed the room filled with laughter.

After it calmed a little Megatron spoke. "Soundwave, lets get this place aired out." He walked to the control panel. "I am not even going to ask, where you got that malicious smell."


	3. Skywarp Laughs

"Dude, that is just wrong."

"I told you I didn't do it." Rumble argued.

"I don't care dumb aft we got blamed." Frenzy walked a little a head still irritated.

"How was I supposed to know we'd be blamed?"

"Duh, we're the ones always doing that kind of slag around here." Frenzy stopped stomping his foot.

"Yeah well we're going to have to make Skywarp pay for this."

"Oh yeah then have Soundwave all pissed off too? I don't think so Rumble, leave me out of it. Have you ever seen Soundwave pissed off?"

"No and neither have you. But I refuse to let Skywarp think he can blame us for his little pranks."

"You know if it had been Starscream like it should have, we'd be safe with Soundwave." Frenzy thought about it.

"But no, Screamer had to argue with Megatron as usual and let him go first." Rumble nearly paused mid sentence. "Skywarp would know Screamer would do that. Aww slag! He was setting us up from the start!"

"… that rusted out old transistor!" Frenzy agreed. "All right bro it's on now what are we gonna do to him?"

"Skywarp, take you position at the scanner I have business with Megatron." Starscream stepped away and walked to the office door at the back of the command room. Skywarp kept his sensors on waiting for the instant the door closed behind the commander. Finally it did.

"Did you hear about it Thunder?" Skywarp quickly abandoned his post and sprinted to Thundercracker excitedly.

"I heard Rumble and Frenzy got your punishment." Thundercracker wasn't really interested but knew Skywarp wouldn't give in if he side he didn't want to hear it.

"Ahh but Thunder! That is the beauty of it. They were supposed to get it!" Skywarp got even giddier than he thought possible.

"You planed for that to happen to Megatron so Rumble and Frenzy will get the punishment?" Thundercracker questioned.

"Exactly. It was the best!" Skywarp did a little prance back to his post. "I knew that screamer would interrupt and Megatron would end up going into the office first. Screamer is predictable like that."

"You know they won't take this, don't you? They'll find something to do to you to get back at you. Can't you just drop it?" Thundercracker had enough of them bantering back and forth.

"No way." Skywarp just answered.

Soundwave approached Megatron office prepared to be yelled at. Rumble and Frenzy were his creations and there for his responsibilities. He had scanned them both and knew that they had nothing to do with what had happened in the office only hours ago. He stood before the door not having to extend his telepathy to feel the anger that resonated from within. He chimed the door allowing Megatron to open it at his leisure.

"Come in." the tone of voice wasn't strained but louder than needed.

The door opened and Soundwave stepped in dulling his sensitive audios.

"I will not tolerate this." Megatron's voice changed volume he was not near whispering, the heated words. "I have sent Rumble and Frenzy to spacebridge duty."

Not knowing exactly what had happened Soundwave intoned "Rumble and Frenzy falsely accused."

Instantly Megatron turned to Soundwave his optics near closed they were so tightly drawn. "If it were not for the rivalry between them and Skywarp this would not have happened."

Standing there silently Soundwave took in his surroundings. There were bits of rope above the door that lead around to the desk to an object hidden behind Megatron currently. He looked over Megatron, what would be the muzzle in his gone mode had a burn mark on it. It would appear that someone had made a contraption so a weapon would discharge on the first person to open the door.

Just watching Megatron could see Soundwave's mind working, it was always astonishing how fast his lieutenant could work things out. For an instant his mind cleared. "I know." He finally spoke. "I know that they did not cause this. It is plainly obvious that who ever created this prank would not have been able to get out. Skywarp is the only teleporter we have on base."

Soundwave nodded.

"Even so, I won't have them retaliating this has to stop." Megatron paused. "Skywarp will be dealt with I assure you."

Again Soundwave nodded, he too would deal with Rumble and Frenzy, after all spacebridge a duty isn't really much of a punishment. He turned on his heel and faced the door. Megatron said nothing as the door opened and he stepped out.

Seconds later Megatron's unmistakable voice came over the base intercom. "Skywarp to my office immediately."

The back jet looked up from his council shocked. He twisted around just in time to see Soundwave leaving, making his mind race. He knew he was going to be in trouble. As he took a step to the door he looked at Thundercracker who just shook his head, then he proceeded to the door. He had expected it to open, but when it didn't his spark sank a little. He chimed the door; it then slid open to a cannon blast.

Rumble stood on one side of the spacebridge opening while Frenzy stood at the other. "We're going to have to do something. And you know we can't get caught."

"Yeah, something in his quarters that way no one will know we were even there."

"How's that?"

"Haven't you been in the air shafts?"

"Why would I want to go in there?"

"I donno I was bored and not one bothers me there."

"Not anymore. I know your hiding place." Rumble laughed.

"I don't care I'll find somewhere else, besides you know you hate the dark places like that."

"Do not."

"Don't lie about it."

"Shut up slag heap."

"Why dontcha make me?"

"Silence." Soundwave's voice instantly stopped the quarrel. "Laserbeak, Buzzsaw eject."

Rumble looked at Frenzy and even though they didn't dare exchange a thought with Soundwave right there they knew what the glance meant they would figure out what to do about Skywarp later.

"Megatron has dealt with Skywarp." Soundwave's voice was flat.

"Not fair!" Rumble wailed.

"There is to be no feud." Soundwave glared at them.

"BUT!!" Frenzy cut in next.

Soundwave said nothing his stoic look speaking for itself.

Something clicked in Rumble "Have Ravage do it."

"No." Soundwave was confused to why they would even bother with the seeker.

"Common! He set us up and we didn't even do anything." There was a slight pause, from Frenzy. "This time." He finally confessed.

Again Soundwave said nothing.

"It can end this way. What if we promise to keep it a way from Megatron?" Rumble asked.

Soundwave shook his head.

Seemingly defeated Rumble and Frenzy both let out a sigh. It wasn't right to let that slaggin' seeker get away with this, they both thought.

"Rumble Frenzy return," Soundwave commanded.

Rumble wasn't finished though he would think of something while he was in there, but without hesitation he transformed and slid into Soundwave's chest Frenzy following him.


End file.
